So two things that I need off my chest. Actually three.
1. When people you wave at someone, you expect a wave (or at least a smile) back, right? Then what the hell is up with that half-ass wave, where the hand is still hanging down still below their waist and he/she just lifts their wrist slightly high enough to barely make out a waving motion. It's basically a gesture suggesting that they are too good to give you an authentic wave, to be too embarrassed to give a full-on wave. Now I'm not talking going crazy with the wave of excitement, but something more than a lift of a wrist and kinda pretending not to see you if you didn't see them first. Double you tee eff.
2. When someone asks you to be an audience, do you give helpful suggestions or only pour out positive endearings, even though what you think you have to say may be beneficial? I guess if it's a couple minutes before a big event of theirs, you should probably just shut your mouth and do the latter. But for the people that actually mean a lot to you and that you want to do well, wouldn't you want to give them the best advice and to see them do their best!? At least for me, I want helpful suggestions. Then you realize it always comes down to how you phrase your comments. There's no time for that much thinking of what diction to use all the time!!! Gah the complications of the games people's minds play!
and lastly,
3. I haven't blogged for a while. I miss the therapy it gives me. It's the best vent outlet, and it's to anyone who cares enough to read this mind diarreah of mine. Maybe then should change BS to DS.
and maybe I should probably start cramming for this midterm.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Where Does Honesty Get You?
Honesty. We've been taught our entire lives to be honest, and if we are not, all lies will surface and come back to bite us in the butt. But really, our whole lives are based on so many lies! Everyone does it, apparently - to protect your children, to protect yourself, and basically lying is the new thing to do - you essentially HAVE to do it! If you expose your true self, you are left vulnerable and others will see who you truly are. They see room for attack and they will take advantage of it.
I am learning more and more you have to have many forms of yourself. You have to shape yourself to be who others want you to be. If not, you will not get the results that you want, and apparently over the last couple years, I have found out, and I believe UCLA will back me up on this one, that life is all about results. You are just a number, just another face, and unless you do something with yourself, you are just another body taking up resources. Unless you have the results that others are interested in, or even ANYTHING that others are interested in, you are NOTHING to them.
There's a Vietnamese quote, "Roll your tongue 7 times before speaking." It parallels the English quote, "Think before you act." And more and more I am finding out how important that is. You never want to say the wrong thing or let what you truly feel out, for it may impair what is about to happen tremendously. That is what you call a Froidian slip when you just let yourself go.
Everywhere. You can't be yourself. Not with your classmates, your coworkers, your significant other, your friends, your family, and it is just so much to take in that you forget who you are and cannot even be yourself to yourself.
What has society done to us?
I am learning more and more you have to have many forms of yourself. You have to shape yourself to be who others want you to be. If not, you will not get the results that you want, and apparently over the last couple years, I have found out, and I believe UCLA will back me up on this one, that life is all about results. You are just a number, just another face, and unless you do something with yourself, you are just another body taking up resources. Unless you have the results that others are interested in, or even ANYTHING that others are interested in, you are NOTHING to them.
There's a Vietnamese quote, "Roll your tongue 7 times before speaking." It parallels the English quote, "Think before you act." And more and more I am finding out how important that is. You never want to say the wrong thing or let what you truly feel out, for it may impair what is about to happen tremendously. That is what you call a Froidian slip when you just let yourself go.
Everywhere. You can't be yourself. Not with your classmates, your coworkers, your significant other, your friends, your family, and it is just so much to take in that you forget who you are and cannot even be yourself to yourself.
What has society done to us?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Scaredy Cat
I did it. I said what I have been afraid of admitting to myself for a very long time. I have gotten so calloused and did not want to fully submerge myself. I enjoyed keeping my guard up and being on the defense, making sure I would not get hurt or hurt anyone in the process.
That was the safe route.
I have now not only dipped my toes in, but slowly let the water touch every part of me. It leaves me feeling extremely vulnerable, extremely open and exposed. I feel naked, yet comfortable in my own skin; exposed, yet enveloped in emotion. I am not sure if I made the right decision still, but I did it and there's no turning back. What I have is only a growing desire, but what if I don't even know if what I have is really true?
I think it is, and I guess that's the best thing that I can really base it upon.
Reciprocation. Is it that important? Is lack of it really embarrassing? There are things you should not go into expecting something in return, or else what you have is really just a business transaction. There are things you go into expecting nothing but the the intangible in return, and ideally, that should be more than you ask for.
Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world. Maybe this is what I am afraid of - taking down my shield, letting loose my weapons, and allowing breathing room through my armor. Maybe I'm afraid of this vulnerability feeling, this feeling that I am losing control of things that I try so hard to be in control of.
I fear my advantage is taken out of my hands, and that I am constantly being compared with or to. I fear of doing this again, having it, and losing it. Reciprocation is important. Words are dangerous and powerful, and they mean nothing without the actions behind the meanings of those words. The latter I feel is more important, but the primer solidifies it all. It is a hand in hand combination, but that's what got me into this predicament in the first place.
That was the safe route.
I have now not only dipped my toes in, but slowly let the water touch every part of me. It leaves me feeling extremely vulnerable, extremely open and exposed. I feel naked, yet comfortable in my own skin; exposed, yet enveloped in emotion. I am not sure if I made the right decision still, but I did it and there's no turning back. What I have is only a growing desire, but what if I don't even know if what I have is really true?
I think it is, and I guess that's the best thing that I can really base it upon.
Reciprocation. Is it that important? Is lack of it really embarrassing? There are things you should not go into expecting something in return, or else what you have is really just a business transaction. There are things you go into expecting nothing but the the intangible in return, and ideally, that should be more than you ask for.
Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world. Maybe this is what I am afraid of - taking down my shield, letting loose my weapons, and allowing breathing room through my armor. Maybe I'm afraid of this vulnerability feeling, this feeling that I am losing control of things that I try so hard to be in control of.
I fear my advantage is taken out of my hands, and that I am constantly being compared with or to. I fear of doing this again, having it, and losing it. Reciprocation is important. Words are dangerous and powerful, and they mean nothing without the actions behind the meanings of those words. The latter I feel is more important, but the primer solidifies it all. It is a hand in hand combination, but that's what got me into this predicament in the first place.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
You know you're a nerd when...
...you don't recognize yourself in the mirror if you don't have your glasses on
...you laugh at your own jokes and confirm yourself that it is because no one else gets the level of sophisticated humor you do
...you enjoy studying - even during the summer
...you bring books/work to do while you go on vacation, and start working as soon as you hit the airport
...you don't really discover makeup until college
...while you are looking at a book about hairstyles and exclaim how outrageous the dos are, your mom asks, "What, are you looking at your brain books again?"
...you know you will be in school for a lot longer than you had intended to be, but you don't mind and even at times wish you can be a professional student
...you spoon your computer while you sleep
...you find libraries fascinating, and feels that being in them makes you smarter
...you study on a Friday night
...you study on a Saturday night
...you study on a Sunday night
...you study on a (well you get the point)
...you stress out about one point
...you start overanalyzing your exam immediately after exiting the exam
...back-to-school shopping is your favorite time of year
...school supplies give you a natural high, so you of course, have a beauty stash of them
...talk in jargon
...your significant other calls you a nerd/dork/geek or some form of nerd, like, constantly
...your significant other is a nerd too (even if they deny it)
...you follow wiki-how's "How to Get a Girlfriend as a Nerd" http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Girlfriend-as-a-Nerd
...you are addicted to the internet and have your email constantly open because are OCD about getting new email
...your dreams are about conference rooms
...you google EVERYTHING
...you've even googled "how to kiss"
...you don't have a diary, no, you have a blog
...you think nerds are cool, therefore you think you are cool
...you make statements that include "therefore"
...you are smart and intelligent
...guiltily pleasuring in Myspace/Facebook
...top brain surgeons, powerful lawyers, politicians, and top-gun businessmen are like celebrities to you
...you enjoy people you can have enlightening or challenging conversations with
...you like(d) Pokemon
...you ponder and overanalyze everything
...you are a clutz and you might as well adopt clumsiness as your middle name
...competition feeds your drive to succeed at times
...you do your Christmas shopping during the summer
...you enjoy the practical and rational thought and things that make sense over the pondering-for-no-purpose approach
...Pinky and the Brain is one of your all time favorite shows, EVER
...you get a kick out of this list: http://www.geocities.com/aliceawei/Asian.html
This list goes on and on. I may be a little biased in writing this list, but for those that know me, I am loud and proud of my (not-so) inner nerdiness :)
Nerds will take over the world... one blog at a time!!
...you laugh at your own jokes and confirm yourself that it is because no one else gets the level of sophisticated humor you do
...you enjoy studying - even during the summer
...you bring books/work to do while you go on vacation, and start working as soon as you hit the airport
...you don't really discover makeup until college
...while you are looking at a book about hairstyles and exclaim how outrageous the dos are, your mom asks, "What, are you looking at your brain books again?"
...you know you will be in school for a lot longer than you had intended to be, but you don't mind and even at times wish you can be a professional student
...you spoon your computer while you sleep
...you find libraries fascinating, and feels that being in them makes you smarter
...you study on a Friday night
...you study on a Saturday night
...you study on a Sunday night
...you study on a (well you get the point)
...you stress out about one point
...you start overanalyzing your exam immediately after exiting the exam
...back-to-school shopping is your favorite time of year
...school supplies give you a natural high, so you of course, have a beauty stash of them
...talk in jargon
...your significant other calls you a nerd/dork/geek or some form of nerd, like, constantly
...your significant other is a nerd too (even if they deny it)
...you follow wiki-how's "How to Get a Girlfriend as a Nerd" http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Girlfriend-as-a-Nerd
...you are addicted to the internet and have your email constantly open because are OCD about getting new email
...your dreams are about conference rooms
...you google EVERYTHING
...you've even googled "how to kiss"
...you don't have a diary, no, you have a blog
...you think nerds are cool, therefore you think you are cool
...you make statements that include "therefore"
...you are smart and intelligent
...guiltily pleasuring in Myspace/Facebook
...top brain surgeons, powerful lawyers, politicians, and top-gun businessmen are like celebrities to you
...you enjoy people you can have enlightening or challenging conversations with
...you like(d) Pokemon
...you ponder and overanalyze everything
...you are a clutz and you might as well adopt clumsiness as your middle name
...competition feeds your drive to succeed at times
...you do your Christmas shopping during the summer
...you enjoy the practical and rational thought and things that make sense over the pondering-for-no-purpose approach
...Pinky and the Brain is one of your all time favorite shows, EVER
...you get a kick out of this list: http://www.geocities.com/aliceawei/Asian.html
This list goes on and on. I may be a little biased in writing this list, but for those that know me, I am loud and proud of my (not-so) inner nerdiness :)
Nerds will take over the world... one blog at a time!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Nose Picking
Great news nose pickers! You are not at risk for contracting Alzheimer's Disease.
Neither are those of you who eat brains.
Congratulations!! Celebrate!! Pick a nose! Eat a brain! Neither have to be yours.
Rejoice and be happy.
However - if you are getting older, I'm sorry. You are at risk of getting Alzheimer's Disease, for it is the only positive correlation of being a victim.
What the hey - go ahead, and still drink and be merry :) and don't fall over during earthquakes.
Neither are those of you who eat brains.
Congratulations!! Celebrate!! Pick a nose! Eat a brain! Neither have to be yours.
Rejoice and be happy.
However - if you are getting older, I'm sorry. You are at risk of getting Alzheimer's Disease, for it is the only positive correlation of being a victim.
What the hey - go ahead, and still drink and be merry :) and don't fall over during earthquakes.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Fly Traps - the Root to Evil
The vinegar fly trap works wonders. :) I think I have caught several hundred, which is a good and bad thing. Good: I've caught so many. Bad: why in the world ARE there this many to begin with? I'm assuming there weren't this many to begin with.
I also find myself having more aggressive behavior towards them, tapping on the bowl so the flies in the bowl (but not yet in the water) will fall down, and drown. Does this make me an evil person? slightly, I'm sure.
I also find myself having more aggressive behavior towards them, tapping on the bowl so the flies in the bowl (but not yet in the water) will fall down, and drown. Does this make me an evil person? slightly, I'm sure.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Body Image Distortion
Lately I've been a little more body conscious than I'd ideally like to be, and seeing how the rest of America perceives a woman's body should look like to be considered "beautiful". Browsing around online, there are so many websites dedicated to get girls to look size 0 skinny, and I even checked out some forums to see what young girls were saying about themselves; some interesting things that popped out:
Jaslene Gonzales (runner up) and Whitney Thompson (winner)
So, that's great that an "average" looking American White girl won, right? RIGHT? I mean, c'mon, she's even wearing an American flag colored bikini! So many people/posts/comments regarding how wonderful that America is recognizing other images of beauty, but honestly, it comes to show you how political this show is.
It is, of course, your typical blond hair, blue eyed white girl that wins. So, she has a thicker body than the customary super thin model figure. Why? Is it to show that America is now not being as superficial? Is America accepting that the average woman's height is 5'3"-ish at 152 pounds? (Those numbers are ballpark from my memory) OR is it to just give off that image? To boost the show's ratings and appeal to more women that actually look like this?
They also mentioned the winner as a PLUS SIZE MODEL. This girl is definitely not plus size. If the media and others are calling her as such, what are actual heavier set girls supposed to think? "Well, if she's plus size, what the hell am I?" Exactly. Is her winning actually based on her beauty, or is it to cause a controversy in the media? As a disclaimer, good for her. She's a pretty girl and if she wants to model, than all power to her.
So why is America so obsessed with body image? Why has it caused corruption in the minds of young, naive, vulnerable people that cause them to succumb to such diseases like anorexia or the need to bulk up? What's really sad, is that we'll fight the norm and say that a person is beautiful at every body type, but innately, we're thinking to ourselves how we want to lose those 10 pounds, gain that extra muscle, or change that flat nose.
To me, beauty is taking care of your body and the choices you make about it, whether it be the foods you ingest, the exercise you do, or the toxins you take in.
What's beautiful? Being healthy and fit, and having the confidence to say that you are beautiful.
What's beautiful? Having a heart to care about others and the troubles the rest of the world faces, and not about how much weight Lindsay Lohan lost in the past month.
What's beautiful? Humbling oneself and accepting who you are; setting goals and achieving them.
What's beautiful? Genuineness and appreciation.
Beauty is seriously everywhere around us; I find myself examining closely the face of the people around me (some may consider this creepy), and I think to myself (though usually am vocal about it) about how beautiful they are. In simple, natural things like the diversity of eyes, noses, face shapes, and most importantly the consistency of their smiles are extremely gorgeous to me.
I'm sorry that the media has instilled such a distorted view of beauty in our minds that we may so consciously try to avoid. I'm going to have to agree with the lovely quote I found in that blog, to just do what makes you happy, but I'm going to add that just as long as you don't harm anyone in the process, including yourself.
Happy beautifying!
- "I’m currently a size 0, but I’d like to be skinnier."
- "i don’t really like the so-thin-you-got-no-butt-or-boobs-or-hips look."
- "NOT all Asians are anorexic either, I hate being called that, it’s like a knife in the face..."
- "Just wear gel bras! =D They’re my fav!"
- "the only 0 size they had didnt fit me, still too big...I actually asked if there was a size -1"
- "I need to lose weight too now reading this forum! Makes me feel fat!"
- "i think you should just be happy and do what makes you happy."
So, that's great that an "average" looking American White girl won, right? RIGHT? I mean, c'mon, she's even wearing an American flag colored bikini! So many people/posts/comments regarding how wonderful that America is recognizing other images of beauty, but honestly, it comes to show you how political this show is.
It is, of course, your typical blond hair, blue eyed white girl that wins. So, she has a thicker body than the customary super thin model figure. Why? Is it to show that America is now not being as superficial? Is America accepting that the average woman's height is 5'3"-ish at 152 pounds? (Those numbers are ballpark from my memory) OR is it to just give off that image? To boost the show's ratings and appeal to more women that actually look like this?
They also mentioned the winner as a PLUS SIZE MODEL. This girl is definitely not plus size. If the media and others are calling her as such, what are actual heavier set girls supposed to think? "Well, if she's plus size, what the hell am I?" Exactly. Is her winning actually based on her beauty, or is it to cause a controversy in the media? As a disclaimer, good for her. She's a pretty girl and if she wants to model, than all power to her.
So why is America so obsessed with body image? Why has it caused corruption in the minds of young, naive, vulnerable people that cause them to succumb to such diseases like anorexia or the need to bulk up? What's really sad, is that we'll fight the norm and say that a person is beautiful at every body type, but innately, we're thinking to ourselves how we want to lose those 10 pounds, gain that extra muscle, or change that flat nose.
To me, beauty is taking care of your body and the choices you make about it, whether it be the foods you ingest, the exercise you do, or the toxins you take in.
What's beautiful? Being healthy and fit, and having the confidence to say that you are beautiful.
What's beautiful? Having a heart to care about others and the troubles the rest of the world faces, and not about how much weight Lindsay Lohan lost in the past month.
What's beautiful? Humbling oneself and accepting who you are; setting goals and achieving them.
What's beautiful? Genuineness and appreciation.
Beauty is seriously everywhere around us; I find myself examining closely the face of the people around me (some may consider this creepy), and I think to myself (though usually am vocal about it) about how beautiful they are. In simple, natural things like the diversity of eyes, noses, face shapes, and most importantly the consistency of their smiles are extremely gorgeous to me.
I'm sorry that the media has instilled such a distorted view of beauty in our minds that we may so consciously try to avoid. I'm going to have to agree with the lovely quote I found in that blog, to just do what makes you happy, but I'm going to add that just as long as you don't harm anyone in the process, including yourself.
Happy beautifying!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
