Hi future plans, it'd be nice if you talk to me.

There are so many options for the future, yet I am consumed by more negative emotions like stress and fear rather than feeling excited about the unknown. It's difficult to balance out the professional/academic life with the personal, and somehow know that some how it's going to work out. Maybe I need a sign or something.

You gotta fight... For your right... To Remember?

This fall, I helped start a support program for those experiencing early memory loss (i.e. those who have recently been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment [MCI] or Alzheimer's Disease). Our clients include a variety of backgrounds, including a New Yorker civil engineer, a British nanny, and even a former World War II veteran. To witness these established individuals, enjoying their well-deserved retirements, slowly losing their memories is like witnessing a slow paced tragedy.

The veteran reminisces about his old war times as a paramedic, transporting wounded soldier after soldier to the nearest area of safety or hospital. Crossing enemy lines on a daily basis, some days losing count of how many lives he saw to safety, or saw to their eternal rest. He risks his own life to save the lives of strangers, having only in common their will to fight for the allied power - ideally it'd be peace. I am honored to be in company with such a hero.

A fighter for his nation is now a fighter for his mind.

Lesson learned: Make the most out of your time. The memories you make now may be the only memories you can keep. Make every day, every moment, every breath count. Not as if it's your last, but make it count because it's worth it. Because you are.

Live. Learn. Love.

Don't wait.

For the first time in my life, I actually feel alone.

Everything around me feels so lofty and superficial, as if it can fade and disappear in an instant.

When someone extremely close to you feels devastated within their own problems, and you find that there is nothing you can do to help, what do you do? Sometimes the answer is to just be there. They say that you should just be an ear to listen to their worries, but to not let it affect you. Is this actually possible? Is it possible to be so cold, as to not let someone's torn emotions not take some toll or part in any of yours? On the contrary, it is unpractical (and possibly unreasonable) to let your emotions control your life.

There are things that need to be done. No one will do them if you just sit there and cry. Cry for what? Someone else? How does that help them? How does it help you?

It doesn't.

Just listen. Be there. Take a deep breath, and swallow it. Do what you need to do, and focus. Wallowing in the moment will not do any good to anybody.

Sometimes, you have to be that pillar of support. You just have to choose what material you are made out of. Will it be sand, or will it be granite?

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A piece of advice I heard recently from a successful professional is a technique in managing a busy lifestyle is to compartmentalize one's life. There is a time for academics. There is a time for family. There is a time friends. There is a time for yourself, your health, and your disabilities.

With that said, there's a time to be silly, and laugh. And there's a time to cry. Allot some time for all of the above, but don't intermingle them, and you'll find yourself healthier and more productive.

I think I'll try this.

In the end, you've only got you. Take care of what you've got.

Beating around the Bush

Why is it that when we have a very important goal or task, we sometimes we do everything BUT the very thing we are supposed to do?

GAH!

Is it because it's so daunting? Intimidating?

Or are we just super procrastinators... and lazy?

Maybe all of the above.

What happened to blogging consistently?

Finally, a blog. So many thoughts throughout the course of this year have gone unblogged. *sigh*

A pressing one that has eaten at me for a couple weeks is meeting this random girl at Starbucks. We shared a table and studied our materials independently. The only thing we shared were "Bless Yous" and the consequent "Thank Yous". At first, I thought she was annoying for talking on the phone while sharing a table with me while I was trying to study. But it was not that long and it was fine environment after. So why did I slightly judge her - on her conversations and her mannerisms at the table? The remorse for these feelings did not really come until I started packing up my things and leaving, when I heard a little voice at the corner of the table saying, "Have a good day!" attached to a smile of course.

Wow. How judgments of a person can phase so quickly by just small gesture such as that. I walked away too quickly to realize it was her saying it, but at 10am when you're miserable from studying organic chemistry, that was the best thing anyone could have left me with (unless it's an admission into med school. haha).

Lessons learned:

1. Do not be so quick to judge.
2. Small kind gestures go a long way. Do them more :) You never know (and may never know) how big of a difference they can make.

So little lady who annoyed me at first while talking at Starbucks, thank you. And in your own words, "You rule." :)

New Years Resolutions

The end of the year approaches, which means time for glitz, glam, and some re-glitzing.

(in no particular order, since the list is to be continually edited)

1. Do things that make you happy.
2. Keep in touch with those that are worth keeping in touch with.
3. Do not waste time on things that do not matter. Going along with that, do things that actually matter. For example, surfing facebook for hours does NOT matter.
4. Be healthy.
5. Blog more. It's therapeutic and a venting source.
6. Be pretty.
7. Find something you like, and explore.
8. Stop stressing. It makes others stress with you, which is just distressing in it of itself.
9. Read. Be informed. Be intelligent.
10. Try to be a little big more green. Love the earth, or else it may not love you.
11. Dance. Sing. Be merry.
12. Flirt a little and make someone's day. Tell a stranger you really like their outfit, or that they have a really pretty smile. Genuinely mean it.

More to come!

Running to the Food Network

You're working out and rocking out to your hip hop music. You're breaking more than just a sweat and you are so motivated to lose that extra pound that you so indulgently gained from that cheese cake you ate last weekend. You look around looking for more motivation. There's that hot guy/girl in your discussion that you have never had the nerve to say hello. There's your ex that dumped you, and you have to show him/her how hot you've gotten. There's the person next to you that's sweating more than you are! How dare they!

Then... you look up. The beam of sun shines down and your eyes lay on: THE FOOD NETWORK. The Chef is cooking some delicious home made goodies - a whole meal cooked right before your eyes (well, and a small screen). You are salivating and cannot wait till post workout food.

Now is this really efficient? In the point of view of the gym, sure it is! You'll work out to the food network, and eat a lot after your work out, and come back wondering why you never lost those extra pounds!!

How conniving you are, gymnasium! You must have a secret contract with the food network that we do not know about!! Well, off to the kitchen for me!